The skeleton pirates took off their pirate garments and Rasta Rick distributed running shorts, t-shirts, and magical running shoes that were invulnerable to not being fashionable. Then they all sprinted through the city, like a skeletal track team. Redblack and a few of the skellies stayed behind to fix the ship.
On and on and on they ran, huffing and puffing, but remembering to breath deeply through their nose-holes. You’ve never seen skeletons run this impressively. Gazelles have nothing on this level of grace. Neither does anything else. This is grace beyond grace. Advanced grace.
So much grace in fact, that the universe tore apart at their heels; the skeleton pirates were breaking reality with their majestic running. As they reached the Empire Shark Building, they each launched themselves through the outer walls, and the charging tear in the space-time continuum whooooshed passed them, and there was nothing but blackness everywhere.
“What the fuck is going on?” asked one of the skeletons.
“We are so goddamn awesome,” said Asia Bones “That reality itself could not handle us. We’ve destroyed the entire universe.”
“Just kidding.” said the Universe. “I’ll stick around so you can kill the Shark Priestess.”
“Thank you!” cheered everyone, and they all started dancing.
“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?” demanded the Shark Priestess, as the Universe returned to normal and the skellies found themselves in the throne-room of all of sharkdom.
“We’re here to beat you to death.” said Asia Bones. “It’s going to be VERY, VERY VERY, VERY, VERY AND HE LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH SADIE OOOO sorry im listening to this really cool album called “Tone Def in Swzoo” by D Reg. I recommend checking it out if you have Google Play. Or Spotify. It’s legitimately awesome. Very chill. anyway, Asia Bones charged the Shark Priestess and Rasta Rick yelled “NOOOO, MON!!!”
Asia Bones, in his hurry, had forgotten about the Sharkingtons. They lept down from the ceiling, and karate-kicked him through the window. Redmond rushed to the window and cried out as he watched his master fall far on to the ground outside, surely dead.
He turned around and screamed “GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHARKS DON’T EVEN HAVE SKELETONS, WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?”
“That be exactly what it be, mon.” said Rasta Rick, solemnly. “Da shark priestess be makin’ dem out o daaaank magic. De only way to kill dem is to kill her.”
The skellies charged forward and Rasta Rick joined them.
“WE’LL KEEP DEM BUSY, MON, YOU AND BOB HAFTA KILL DA PRIESTESS!”
“We’ll do that, you brave Rastafarian.” smiled Redmond sadly.
He and Bob charged the Shark Priestess, and she drew twin daggers and fought them back effortlessly.
“You fools!” she laughed. “I’m the Shark Priestess, and you’re punks.”
And then, she laughed like a mean person, and flung a lightning bolt at Rasta Rick, who was single-handedly defending a fallen skelly from 3 sharkingtons. Rasta Rick flew backwards outside the Asia-hole, and on to the ground far-below, also surely dead.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Redmond, and the priestess cut off his head.
He was now Deadmond.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” roared Bob, and he punched the priestess right in the tit.
“OW!” she yelled, and kicked his face. He flew backward outside the Asia-Rasta-hole, but was able to grab on to the ledge.
“Somebody help me!” he yelled. but there was no one. The skeleton crew was all dead, defeated by the sharkingtons. His friends were gone. This was it.
“You should have stayed a shark.” said the priestess, as she raised her foot to step on his hand.
“Hey, shark priestess.” said Deadmond’s disembodied head. She spun around to face him, surprised at the talking head.
and his body fired the harpoon gun through her stupid, distracted face.
the sharkingtons all collapsed, and Deadmond stood up to collect his head. In his horror mastery, he had been given a second chance. He could now shed his skin and live again as a skelington.
“We did it.” said Rasta Rick, who was a ghost now, truly one with the smoke.
“Indeed.” said Deadmond. “I’m just sad about Asia Bones and the pirate crew.”
“Ya don gotta be sad bout dem, mon. After all, skellies never really die.” he said.
And the skeletons all stood up, because they were skeletons, I mean why the hell not.
“hoooooorayyy!!!” they all cheered and started partying.
“AHOYYYYYYYYYYYY!” laughed Captain Redblack, as he pulled up in Queen Bones to the big-ass hole in the wall.
“Looks like our ride’s here.” said Asia Bones, smiling. He turned to Deadmond. “Are you ready for your skeletal training, boy?” he asked.
“Just a second, master.” replied Redmond.
He kissed Bob on the mouth. The skeletons all cheered because now I can justify tagging this as romance.
They all hopped aboard the Queen Bones, and partied into the sunset, leaving behind the city of sharks that they just slaughtered, and heading toward their next grand adventure.