“WHAT IN TARNATION DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, BOY?” howled War God McMann.
“Ray, what the living hell?” asked Rob.
“IF I HAVE TO BREAK OPEN THIS DOOR, THERE’LL BE HELL TO PAY, DAMMIT!” yelled McMann, slamming his fist on the solid steel door.
“Good luck, chump,” responded Ray, cocky as all hell, “We have a giant Ant holding the door shut, and it’s made out of freaking steel. Fuck off and get killed by aliens yourself.”
McMann roared and punched his fist through the door, just missing Antbro’s head.
“Hey Ray, look. He has a robot-arm,” said Rob, “Now what?”
“Yeah, I regret the last few moments entirely,” said Ray, pulling Antbro away from the door.
McMann tore the door open and glared at the pussies.
“The war’s changed, boys. We’re not just losing anymore, we’re being fucking exterminated. Men, women, children, cats. Humanity cannot, and will not become extinct. Not as long as I’m alive. Out there, aliens are fucking our troops raw.
But what those lousy sons-o-bitches don’t know, is that my scientists have perfected the augmentation processes necessary for a man to go toe-to-toe with fuckin’ elephant.”
McMann spread out his arms, visible in his sleeveless uniform. They were muscular, but they still appeared to be made of flesh. But just moments ago, one of those arms had torn through steel like paper.
“You’re lookin’ at a real-life Superhuman, men. And whether you like it or not, we’ve all got to be upgraded if we’re going to survive. Even you, Ant-Man.”
“I never signed up for any of this,” insisted Ray like a punk-bitch, “I don’t want to be a Space Marine.”
“If you don’t want to be a hero, and would prefer to be a pussy, I won’t force you,” said McMann, “Even though I easily could, because I’m over a thousand times stronger than you.”
“But you’re still coming with us. You’ll die here alone. The aliens will eat all of your limbs cauterizing the wounds with their superhot vapor breath. Until you’re nothing but a stump with a dick. Then they’ll use you for breeding until you die from the agony.”
“Oh god what the fuck?”
“Yeah, what the fuck is right. Now let’s get going, my men are waiting outside. Now Robert, are you prepared to take a needle, go to sleep, and wake up as something better than human?”
“Yeah, that sounds fine.”
“What about you, Ant-Man? Your people have always been our dearest allies. Will you undergo the process of becoming a Mega-Ant?”
“Lmao, yeah ok.”
McMann handed two heavy, solid-gold pistols to Robert and Antbro, and a rape whistle to Raymond.
“Then let’s get going, boys.”
[TO BE CONTINUED]