Glasses v. Contacts v. Depression

Tried an experiment today.

I noticed it’s easier to maintain a straight posture when I’m not wearing my glasses.

Something about them being on my face seems to make me trend downward. Of course, I’m as blind as a fucking bat (Thanks, J.K. Rowling) so it’s not great. I might consider contacts, but sticking my fingers in my eyes has always spooked me. Idk. I’m going to keep trying to wear my glasses as little as possible.

Maybe because they’re sliding down my fucking ski-slope shaped nose? But I don’t think it matters either way. No matter how many times I push them up, I’m always bending over. And even a single inch makes such a tremendous difference for back pain.

Another thing that might be contributing to my more beta posture is that I definitely do feel more attractive with my glasses off. I’ve noticed it’s easier to look people in the eye, especially girls (even though I can’t actually see jack shit) if I’m not wearing my glasses.

Confidence really is so fucking important. Like idk what the fuck I would do without caffeine and addy keeping me pumped up. Probably just lie down and die.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can increase my confidence, and a lot of it is based on my looks. It’s not like I’m unattractive, and I’ve had more than my fair share of girlfriends. But I fucking hate that I have curly hair. I fucking hate that I have a high forehead. And I fucking hate that I have a fucking long, Italian nose. It’s brutal, man. And of COURSE I’m under 6’0. Slap a pair of glasses on that, and you’ve got a dork. Or forget the glasses, and I can still fucking cosplay as the Happy Merchant. It’s not fun. My life is not fun.

I’ve almost got the body of a Greek god, but I still really need to bulk up. It’s cool having a chest bigger than most girls’, but I’M NOT SWOL ENOUGH. If you’re under 6 feet and you’re not working out 6 days a week like I am- and I’m not even working out as hard as I could/should be- you’re essentially just committing suicide.

I got a blow dryer that already loosens my curls so they’re not as awful and a straighter for when my hair gets longer. I want to grow it out again. Hide my fucking forehead, PLEASE. So that’s two birds with one stone.

I was thinking about eye surgery. My friend had it and it worked for him. So that’ll only cost me what, a trillion dollars or so.

I’ve honestly been thinking about a nose-job too. But idk. The only thing worse than a Roman nose is a fucked up fake one. It’s not like I have the best experience with plastic surgeons.(MY FUCKING EAR) And of course that’ll be another trillion dollars anyway.

idk man. I didn’t really have confidence problems when I was younger. The move to Florida really, really, really, definitely fucked me up. But these are still issues with myself that I’ve always really had. Then of course there’s my fucking ear, that A FUCKING DOCTOR TOLD MY PARENTS HE COULD FIX AND THEN HE COMPLETELY FUCKING MADE IT WORSE, but I’ve come to terms with that. A lot of my exes called it an elf ear. That’s cute I guess. I just… bruh, I’m a little drunk.

I’ll be honest with you– if I was fat, if I haven’t been working out for years, and instead allowed myself to develop the skinnyfat body that 99% of men have nowadays, I’d probably commit sui*ZUCC CENSOR*.

It’s really, really hard being an average man. And it’s even harder when you’re an average man who had everything– the opportunity for a good, normal, healthy life– multiple times, and then fucked it up, again, and again, and again. (if you’re reading this and I’ve dated you, I’m sorry I was such an uncaring prick– you were great, I was trash. Except with one of youlmao but whatever I’m sorry to you too.)

idk what I’m talking about anymore. basically I wanna try contactslmao. uh, that’s all for now. bye.

also, please get married to whoever you’re dating now and have lots of kids. ok goodnight.